Pray for Their Happiness: Your Sister or Brother’s Good is Your Own

What is unforgiveable?

(Originally published Nov. 13, 2025 in Sacred Creative Soul Speaks)

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” —Unknown

I’m writing this whilst still riding the energy of the powerful conversation I had with one of my mentors and friend, Rev. Dr. Michelle Wadleigh, about forgiveness. You can watch the Substack LIVE replay if you want to go deep with us on this critical topic. Her new book, Forgiveness, a Workbook for Emotional and Spiritual Freedom, dropped on November 11th. If you’re ready to take your spiritual journey to the highest level possible, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

In our conversation, we spoke about the senseless killing of nine people ten years ago at Mother Emmanuel A.M.E. church in South Carolina. A young man walked into a church during a prayer service where the people prayed for him, and then he shot and killed nine of them. In the days following this horrible event, some of the church members who had been present, and some of the loved ones of those murdered, forgave the young man on national television.

There was significant controversy surrounding the public apology. Some said what that man did was unforgivable, others said they forgave him too quickly.

I posed the question to Rev. Michelle, “Is anything unforgiveable?”

I’ll let you watch the replay to catch the fullness of her answer, but she did say that we can forgive too quickly, that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves —to disentangle ourselves from the perceived wrongdoing of the other —and to keep the vessel of our consciousness clean and clear. To forgive too quickly before you have allowed yourself to process what has happened, and to do the deep, inner work, is to indulge in spiritual bypass.

Spiritual bypass occurs when you wave something away and declare that all is well without having done the deep, spiritual process required to resolve it and learn from it. You see, when you ascribe to the notion that we are all one, then there really is only one of us. So, whatever you are holding against another, you are holding against yourself.

She also spoke to the idea of living a life of non-judgement because if you don’t judge a person, then you don’t need forgiveness. It was through my four years plus of studying to become a licensed Science of Mind Prayer Practitioner that I learned the concept of replacing judgment with curiosity.

Which brings me to the inspiration for this post.

The admonishment to “pray for his happiness,” came to me from my mother while I was going through a messy divorce. My beloved ex-husband seemed to be trying to find ways to make things as difficult for me as possible as we parted ways. I was an emotional mess because of it.

I learned that her command to pray for his happiness was a trick, because we cannot pray for another’s happiness without calling that happiness to ourselves. And to pray for the happiness of someone you consider an enemy seems to carry with it an extra boost of healing power.

Just this morning, when I was praying with my prayer partner about the state of the world, and specifically about our government, we landed on the topic of our current president. I have taken to calling him “The Taco” to avoid getting activated when I say his given name.

Right there, while we were talking, Spirit said to me, “Pray for his happiness.” I was like, “What? No way!” and then I remembered that things do not go well when you question or disobey spiritual guidance.

Another thing I learned from Rev. Michelle is that everyone, including everyone, should have a clear passage through my mind. Spirit reminded me that the way I was currently holding the president in consciousness was not giving him clear passage through my mind.

• But this is the man who is running a Pedophile Protection Program! Pray for his happiness.
• He’s spending millions to tear down parts of the White House to build a gaudy ballroom while Americans go hungry. Pray for his happiness.
• He’s purposefully dismantling this country. Pray for his happiness.
• He is defunding Black America and attempting to erase the contributions of the people whose stolen labor built this country! Pray for his happiness.
• And on and on. . .

Now, if you are still reading, I appreciate you. Let me assure you of this. By praying for the president’s or anyone else’s happiness, I am not in any way condoning anything they have done or will do.

Praying for his happiness is a thing I can do for myself to heal and clear the place in me where I was holding bitterness and hatred for this child of God. So, while I do not support anything he is doing, I pray for his happiness, well-being, and peace.

I offer that you pay attention to the energy with which you do anything. If you choose to protest the current administration’s actions, do so with love for your neighbors.

If you choose to boycott massive corporations that support this fascist regime, do so with a vision for a better world.

Finally, in his sermon, Loving Your Enemies, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said,

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars”

If indeed we are all one, my brother and sister’s good is my good. But by that same token, when I indulge in hate and judgment, I’m adding that low vibration, dark energy to a world already swirling with it.

Whether you agree with me or not, I’d love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness in general, and my marching orders to pray for the president’s happiness.